I’m an Attachment Parent: I’m Right You’re Wrong . . . Pick a Side!

attachment parenting sides

Okay, it’s time to stir the pot. Its been pretty PC around here for the most part and well — It’s getting old. Don’t you think? Not that I want to offend; but I have views and opinions and this is my blog. If I can’t be Raivon here, without fear . . . then where can I?

Attachment parenting (AP) seems to be one of the great divides between us moms. There are so many raw emotions behind parenting styles.

I liken it to an electrical cord with exposed wires. If you touch it you WILL get shocked . . . And if there’s enough contact you just might start a fire.

I’m an attachment parent, mostly by nature and partly by choice. We bed-share, we are still nursing (on demand), no crying-it-out (CIO). In fact the mere thought of a baby left to cry makes me sick to my stomach. It’s safe to say we are child centered parents. We don’t believe in forcing a child into something they aren’t ready for. If you are sitting outside of your babies door crying while your baby cries he isn’t ready and neither are you. Be kind to yourself.

Here’s my beef . . . you can’t be in the middle. You are either for or against your style of parenting. You either believe it’s right or wrong.

Oh, whats right for you may not be right for me. To each his own . . . Blah Blah Blah

I could deal with those statements if they went  something like — “Whats right for my child may not be right for yours.”

What make this statement different is that the child’s individuality is taken in to consideration.

Lets take CIO for example.

I honestly can’t even dream of saying “to each his own” when it comes to this. The thought of a baby left alone to cry causes me to be physically ill, and no I am not exaggerating. This is one thing that will, for sure trigger anxiety for me. When I run across posts or articles in my news feed I HAVE to hide it . . . even if it’s an article that is against CIO.

We will get into the why I think CIO is wrong another time… I promise 😉

I think it’s wrong for a child to be left alone crying in order to teach him to sleep. I believe this even more now that I see Ari learning to fall asleep on his own without “force”. He is doing it now that he is READY.

If I think CIO is wrong, wouldn’t I be a hypocrite if I said I thought it was okay for others to do wrong things — but not myself?

I’m not judging other moms . . . actually — I just looked up the definition. IT says I am judging . . . But, I’m not .

You get my point.

In my heart, I don’t believe you can say you are neutral.  Someone needs to call the crap.

Me! I call C – R -A- P! Crap crap crap!

It’s not about right or wrong or mommy wars — What it is, is Agreeing to Disagree, and that is OKAY.

I have love for all parents out there that are doing the best that they can. You may know about my struggle with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I in no way want to aggravate anyone’s struggle as a new mom. However, I feel that some of the decisions we make are actually decisions that are made for us or ideas that are pushed on us, without us even knowing.

For example.

I would have NEVER thought to let my child cry it out on my own. That goes completely against natural instinct. But there was a time when I thought I needed to do it, and if I didn’t I was doing my child a disservice. I thought obsessed over this very thing. I mean how would he ever learn to sleep and self soothe. After all he’s been on this planet for months now . . . he’s GOT to be forced into learning these skills NOW!

Would you have naturally thought to let your baby cry-it-out on your own? Do you believe you can be for or against something for your child and truly believe it’s okay for other children?

I don’t — I can’t make a choice out of love for my son and act like other children don’t matter. There is a universal love that I have for each and every child on this planet.

Indecision makes us unstable. Do you have 100% faith in what you practice? Why?pickaside

Ahhhh. It  feels so good to get that off of my chest. Thanks for listening and please don’t hate me (says the people please-er I’m trying not to be) .

Come on, I know you have an opinion . . . Let me have it in the comments below over on Facebook or Twitter. (Hands up guarding face.)

As a Christian I believe there is only one truth and one way. This spills over into all areas of life, being lukewarm produces nothing, it’s worthless. Be definitive, its new for me but i’ll tell you, it’s amazingly freeing! <3

Learn more on being decisive from a biblical perspective here.

 

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Linds Brewer
    July 31, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I thought I was the only one who thought this way until I stumbled upon the Peaceful Parenting group on FB. Seriously, the thought of letting my 8 month old son CIO was making me ill. I thought that putting him in his own room, in his own crib, would make him want to be alone, even after of 8 months of co-sleeping! I made it about 10 minutes listening to him cry and went back in there, took him to my room, and said “I’m so very sorry, when you’re ready, that’s when you will sleep alone” He’s going to be 3 in December…still sleeping with him. 🙂

    • Reply
      Raivon Lee
      July 31, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Hi Five Momma! Greg and I also “tried” cry-it-out. We gave each other a pep-talk before hand and had everything planned out — we were going to support each other and not go in to comfort our baby. Just thinking about it now makes me nauseous. We didn’t last even a few minutes. Our baby needed us and honestly I needed him. We still co-sleep and love it. Some nights it isn’t all peachy but I still love it and wouldn’t change it! Thanks for sharing your experience!

  • Reply
    Jasmine
    July 31, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    I just stumbled across this blog post and let me tell you it was lover at first word. The exact words have run out of my mouth so many times while lying in bed with my husband. Thank you for being genuine and saying it like it is.

    • Reply
      Raivon Lee
      July 31, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      Awww Im SO blushing right now! It is so good to know I am NOT alone in this! (((hugs))) to you!

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