As I mentioned previously my pregnancy has been nothing like I expected it to be. The 1st trimester was brutal and I’m now approaching my 9th month and I still have morning sickness along with the “normal” 3rd trimester happenings.
With that said I’ve completely dropped off the map with my friends, especially my single friends. I don’t like and really don’t feel like going anywhere without DH. He drives and when I get sick he’s right there to help me… He’s my comfort and honestly the only place I go without him is to work. I’d have it this way even if I weren’t pregnant, I just always rather be with him.
Needy…. maybe a little. Spoiled…100%
I make plans with my friends then cancel because I’m too sick or tired or just too disgusted with myself to go out. I honestly don’t want to be seen by anyone. Mostly those who knew me before I morphed into a giant version of someone else. I don’t feel like Raivon at all… (Heres where the “vain” comes into play) I’m embarrassed of my pregnant self. Her weakness, vulnerability , neediness, sickness and plumpness. All I my maternity clothes are hand-me-downs, (which I am extremely thankful for because it has saved me a ton of money) BUT I just so far removed from who I was before even with how I dress.
I hope that my friends do and will understand. I always put on a happy face for everyone and I’m sure that makes people think I’m not as miserable as I claim, but I’m not one to walk around showing my feelings (that’s an entirely different story).
I pray that after little man is born I will also be re-born, and become a functioning member of society. I can’t wait to emerge from hibernation, I look forward to Spring both literally and figuratively, a season of growth and beautiful new beginnings.