I sit online, scrolling Amazon and Zulily for the perfect toy. A toy that is educational that will teach him, a toy that will bring him joy.
How have I forgotten what he not only needs but WANTS most is me.
Ari is two now. Since the day my son was born he made it clear that mommy was his world, and he was mine.
The two of us have made it through so much together!
A rough start to breastfeeding bloody scabbed nipples, tears from us both, doubt and all — but we made it and continued for two beautiful sometimes frustrating years. He weaned like a boss, it was I that had the hardest time …but I knew WE were ready.
As an infant he refused to sleep unless tucked safely by my side. After many nights of stumbling to his room, I followed my gut. I knew that we would sleep much better together. We still room share and often end up in the same bed by morning.
We made it through Postpartum Depression. HE saved me, HE gave me reason to not give up and answer the peaceful call of death.
He is my person — and I am his.
So why the toys? Because he is a bit older now? Regardless, I will do my best to never forget to nurture the beautiful attachment we have created.
Today I will give my boy the best gift I can give. I will give him — me.
It is so easy to get caught up in life, or our to-do lists… We forget that the toys don’t matter to our children, what matters to them is us playing with those toys with them. They need us! They want us. I have to remind myself of this each and everyday! To take time and relish in my son’s presence I am equally blessed by the insurmountable knowledge he has, even with so few words.