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Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Mental Illness: WHAT — Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I don’t have all of the facts — I don’t even have my thoughts straight . I am just going to unload and attempt to organize the clutter in my mind.

Robin Williams killed himself. He hung himself. A man with hundreds of thousands maybe more like millions of fans. A man that most likely didn’t have to worry about the things most of us do. A man that most likely had more resources to get help than the rest of us. A man that from the outside looking in you would never imagine was suffering to that degree.

He killed himself. He hung himself. He chose to die by asphyxiation because depression is a liar!

Mental Illness is REAL (I’m saying this in shock and almost disbelief). He was hurting THAT badly that he took his own life. I’m not sure why I am so shocked; after all I had those scary thoughts of ending my life after the birth of my son.

But still . . . But still I am shocked.

I learned that he passed through my Facebook news-feed. It was the updates from friends who have personal experience with various forms of mental illnesses that struck me.

I could sense their sorrow . . . fear . . . and anger, that I can only liken to a mom wailing at the loss of her only child.

THAT was the pain I felt permeate my news-feed.

I took a step back and asked myself.

Who the hell am I — to think I can handle depression and anxiety if Robin Williams lost his life to this horrible disease? Am I that naive to think I’ve beat this thing? How do I continue diminishing the fact that this could be a life long struggle that requires maintenance?

Maybe it is time for me to stop smiling about this pain — maybe its time to cut the happy-go-lucky BS.

This is serious stuff.

It’s the “what-ifs” that really take a toll on me. I have more good days than bad, thankfully. But I have an under lying fear that I’m being naive, and not vigilant enough. What if’s get the best of me? What if???

This is uncharted territory for me.

Maybe it’s just anxiety but how do I really know?

My heart goes out to the family and friends of Robin Williams. I can only hope he is resting in the sweet arms of Jesus. No more pain.

Note To Self:

 Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

[34] “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.



Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Postpartum Anxiety: What It’s Like . . . For Me

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety sucks! I’ve always been a nervous person but nothing like what I have experienced after having my baby. Those of you who haven’t experienced anxiety this is what it’s like for me.

An emptiness — hollowness in my chest.

The feeling of being surrounded by thick steamy air that makes it hard to take
a full breath.

Being in the middle of no-where standing at crossroads disoriented not knowing which way is the right way.

That fleeting moment between breaths. I feel as if I’m suspended in mid-air but falling at the same time. Read More »

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Postpartum Progress Turns TEN: The Woman Behind the Change

Postpartum Progress Turns 10

Disclaimer: The following may appear . . . Stalker-ish. I am not a stalker. I am a woman whose life has been changed by Katherine Stone. If you’ve been affected by her — you get it! If not you have been warned.

Oh my . . . (deep breath)

I don’t know where to being . . . I’m at a loss for words.

Katherine . . .

How can a woman I’ve never met (at the time) change my life? Perfectly shift, inspire and change my life? Katherine Stone, Founder and Warrior-Mom-In-Chief, of Postpartum Progress, is that woman.

I don’t know Katherine well, we have only met once; but prior to meeting her there was something about her spirit that made me feel as if  I had known her  . . . her spirit is magnetic, pure and genuine.

When Katherine spoke through tears before we Climbed Out here in Atlanta, I was shocked — not that she was crying…but that she was genuinely crying and touched by her experience even though it was over 10 years ago. She is real.

Postpartum Progress turns TEN on July 13th 2014.

To think that it all began with ONE blog post and ONE amazing woman, that could not sit idly; wishing hoping and dreaming for change. Postpartum Progress has done amazing things for women that suffer from perinatal mood disorders: raising awareness, providing support and squashing stigma.

She did that . . . she is doing that!

I just got chills. I can visualize Katherine reaching her hand into a deep trench engulfed by darkness, gripping the hand of a suffering mama telling her to  hold  on . . . you will be okay  . . . I will help you  . . .do not let go.

THIS  – – is the work she does y’all!

Katherine, you have created a beautiful domino effect; an army of women propelled by love and passion who pay it forward. Because of this, I didn’t  need to meet you personally to be changed by your work and dedication.

Your passion — your fight, blows my mind.

You inspire; you motivate; you save; you change — YOU are my mantra.

Knowing that you are out there fighting for moms like myself leaves me speechless. There is so much comfort in knowing that.

Your mission will continue to touch the lives of so many.

Thank you!!

Happy 10th Anniversary to you and Postpartum Progress <3, Here’s to another 10!

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have. -Margaret Mead

To everyone reading this, I’d like to share the information below which I borrowed from Esther over at Journey Through PPD who borrowed it from Good Girl Gone Redneck: Sharing is caring 😉

If you’d like to help support Katherine’s efforts with a donation to Postpartum Progress you can do so very easily online. Postpartum Progress is a non-profit organization and your donation will be tax deductible. Your donation will go towards supporting an organization that supports ALL mamas EVERYWHERE.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing symptoms of postpartum mood disorders, please consider reaching out for help. Postpartum Support International has a toll-free support line you can call 1.800.944.4PPD and a map of local support resources for you.

Looking to talk to mamas like you? #PPDChat is a weekly Twitter chat where you can find discussions related to living your life postpartum.

Looking for hope? A reminder that you WILL get through this? Check out the Warrior Mom Photo Album and see these smiling faces. That will be you – soon.

Looking for an easy way to share your struggles with your healthcare provider? Follow the link to this check list!

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Shell-Shocked: The Day After CNN Shed Light on PPD

Postpartum depression stigma

I can not speak . . . I can feel the tears working their way into my eyes; there’s a horrible pit in my stomach . . . I feel sick.
I was recently interview by Kelly Wallace from CNN for an article that she wrote called, Postpartum Depression: One mom’s mission becomes a movement  featuring Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress.
CNN Article Katherine StoneLet me tell you, I have been beyond excited to have had the chance to be a part of this. Albeit a tiny part. Katherine is the star, all her work over the last ten years is . . . no words. I have been waiting for weeks for this article to go live, and yesterday was the day! It is an amazing article!

My joy was taken away just as quickly as it arrived. After receiving a Facebook notification saying that some crazy comment was posted on CNN’s website. I went to see what all the fuss was about. Read More »

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Why I’m Thankful for Postpartum Depression

Winter depression before spring

I don’t even know where to begin. I’d love to compose a beautiful, eloquently written ‘piece’, to say how I’m feeling, but, that’s not me. SO here it goes.

In a crazy twisted way, postpartum depression has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. Don’t get me wrong, when I was in the thick of it, it was horrible. Unbearable.

I will not diminish the pain and suffering that Postpartum Depression (PPD) is, or the fact that it has taken so many lives (literally and figuratively). It IS a serious illness.

With that said, now that the majority of my days are good, I am able to see the beauty that came from the pain. Read More »

Fulfilled Living, Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

My Story Featured on Postpartum Progress

Raivon on Postparton Progress

Hi! This will be quick. I have touched lightly on my experience with Postpartum Depression & Anxiety in previous posts: More Than Just Tired and Treating Postpartum Anxiety & Depression without a Script!, (Just so you know, I did end up needing medication to manage my anxiety and depression).

I haven’t shared my full story here on Vain Mommy, but it was featured on Postpartum Progress last week, When Everything is Unexpected: From Natural Birth Plan to C-Section.

If you missed it, check it out!



Postpartum Depression & Anxiety