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38 Weeks: Trusting God with the What Ifs

Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow book reviewLO being breech has filled my life with more what ifs, than ever… and for some reason I have a feeling that with motherhood this is only the beginning of a life filled with what ifs; if I allow it…

What IF…

  • My water breaks…

    Go straight to the hospital

  • My water doesn’t break…

    Stay home and call me, you will labor at home till 4cm, then we will head to the hospital.

  • His foot presents first …

    You’ll have a C-Section

  • His cord slips out first…

    It becomes an emergency and you will have C-Section under general anesthesia.

  • His tush presents first…

    You will have a vaginal breech birth.

  • He’s head down…

    Stay home for your home birth Read More »


Scared to Share My Blog

Blogging has become a form of therapy and escape for me. I am able to open up in a way that I can with few people in my life. Not because others won’t let me, but because I won’t allow myself to just be me… Whoever me is. I’ve been hiding myself for so long that I’m not sure I even know who I am.

I’m not a very confident person, well I haven’t been in the past. Hopefully I’m in the process of turning a new leaf. I generally only share my true opinions when I know the person sitting across from me will agree and there will be no push back (unless that person is DH then I have no problem voicing my true feelings 🙂 . When I’m in agreement with someone, chances are there will be a flowery bonding experience between us…and that’s my safety net.

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External Version Day… Gulp!

I was pretty nervous last night, but today I had a strange calm. I woke up early to make sure we got to the hospital on time. Greg cooked a huge tasty breakfast and we were off.

Once we arrived the nurses showed me to my very own room which only increased my anxiety. I was expecting to be take in an examination room; having my own room was so “official”. I was given a gown and asked to strip down to my birthday suit (In case I needed to be rushed off for an emergency C-Section I’m assuming).

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‘Twas the Night Before my External Cephalic Version

I’m freaking out… I really didn’t realize the extent of my hate (or is it fear) of hospitals even for an out-patient procedure. I just read a blog post  that describes my perfect nightmare during an ECV. The lack of control, random strangers being invited into your room, the infliction of pain…someone being rough with my baby… The drugs you’re given that say NOT to give to pregnant women ( Terbutaline).

I spend a little too much time online researching and that’s not always a good thing!

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37 Weeks: Breech Baby Update

Well… I admit I’m not feeling too chipper. I’m sure that was obvious during my visit today with my Midwife, I attempted to put on a happy face but with so many variables at play with only a few weeks until I’m due… I can’t help it.

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