So lately I’ve been doing something that I’m really, really good at… OBSESSING!
Just ask my husband, almost every conversation we have is a different variation of ” what if Ari is our one and only”.
Honestly after a tough pregnancy and tougher post partum period I can not imagine going through it again! I mean, I’m only beginning to emerge from the darkness of post partum anxiety/depression. All the little glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel are intoxicating, and I can say honestly I don’t want to go back down that road again.
Looking back there’s so much I took for granted before I had Ari. Time with my husband, friendships, life in general. Having Ari has made me a much better person, that wants to take life by the horns and LIVE.
I love Ari so much and want to give him the world, and We may not be able to do that with more than 1 child. I feel as if our family is complete just the 3 of us. This is shocking because I always assumed I’d have at least four children but the thought of that is honestly depressing at this point.
Everyone says ill forget all the bad and baby fever will hit me sooner than later, but I have one friend that said to fight it with all I have! Her husband recently had a vasectomy after having one child. It must feel awesome to know with that much certainty what you want and take action!
Then there are all those darn what ifs. What if Ari is lonely, what if this, what if that. I believe that a person should only have more children because they want them not because they feel they should… And at this point I’d be doing it because I feel I should.
And then there’s the pride issue. I look at other women with two, three or four kids and it looks like a breeze! Why do I look like a total mess with one? I’ve decided that some people are just made for certain things in life. Plain and simple…
How do you feel about only children? Do you have an only child, what’s it like?