Post partum anxiety… Wait what? I’ve heard of post partum depression…We all have; but I hadn’t heard much, well anything about Post Partum Anxiety (PPA) until I started researching my symptoms.
I expected to have some baby blues which I was told would last about 2 weeks after having Ari and boy did I! I cried about everything, EVERYTHING. If I saw a picture of Ari I’d cry when I realized I’d have to supplement with formula I cried and cried. When I was still crying 8 weeks later I thought there was a problem.
I never assumed that I had depression or anxiety until I was crying every evening without control. I tried to keep the tears in ( I didn’t want DH to think I was crazy) but the flood gates burst open daily. I’m not a crier; Greg (DH) may have seen me cry once maybe twice in 5 years and now I was crying every…single… day! The thought of DH going to work made me panic, the thought of night time…another sleepless night made me want to run away. Ill admit that I did believe that this was just normal new mom stuff, I thought that I needed to “wo-man up”, but it was the uncontrollable crying that made me think twice.
I decided to take the step and go in and get a script for Zoloft. My midwife recommended vitamins and supplements but honestly I didn’t believe the “natural” way was the way for me. I was so scared and felt completely out of control. I wanted something “real” something strong, a real drug to knock this horrible feeling out!
I was on Zoloft for 2 days and I was done! I know they say it takes a while for anti depressants to begin working but I felt delirious. My anxiety was worse I felt detached, like a zombie… But at the same time I felt nothing. I also started to worry about LO getting exposed to the meds even though Zoloft is supposed to be safe to take while breast feeding.
Brenda (my midwife) sent me a protocol that was supposed to be effective with in 48-72hrs! So I sent DH out to the Vitamin Shoppe and haven’t looked back since!
I lie to you not; that same evening I felt like a totally normal person!! I was scared to believe it! So here’s the protocol
1. Ashwaganda–between 1-3 grams a day
2. B complex
3. Inositol (a b vitamin) –2000-10,000
“Start with the 2000 mg and only move the amount up if you don’t see immediate improvement. You should see marked improvement in 48-72 hours on this protocol alone.”
Brenda also recommended that I take Krill oil and Vitamin D3. A deficiency in omega 3 and Vitamin D are linked to depression.
Ari is now 13 weeks and I stopped the protocol cold turkey and have been feeling fine. I still take Vitamin D3 and krill oil.
UPDATE: If you have had a chance to read my newer posts you already know that I did indeed end up needing medication to manage the anxiety and depression. Although, I tried to take the ‘natural’ path, it wasn’t what I needed to get better and I’m ok with that. It’s been over a year since I originally wrote this and most of my days are good days with continued treatment. I assumed that all of ‘this’ would be far behind me by now, but in a way the growth I experienced through these hard times had been worth it.