I Admit. I Was Afraid of Money & Other Ramblings

I’ve decided to take a more relaxed approach — I’d like to just chat with you and share what’s been happening in my life and in this head of mine! Let me know if you enjoy this new more relaxed way of connecting.

As you know from the title of this post, I was afraid of money and after doing some research I’ve discovered that the fear of money is an actual phobia referred to as  Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia. I guess there’s a name for everything huh. Anyway let’s get on with it.

Did you know that just a month ago I was afraid to say, ” I want to be a Beauty Consultant because I’d like to make MONEY!”

I was terrified to admit this to myself.

Me, having financial goals for myself? Totally and completely TABOO!

But setting financial goals for my husband? LOL. Well duh! Of course, and I would willingly sacrifice to help him achieve said goals. If needed.

I’ve always believed and said that I’m not motivated by money. I guess that is still true in a way. I’m not motivated by money itself, but the experiences it can provide my family? YES!

What is it that you want, but are afraid to admit to yourself? What are you afraid to say out loud?

Over a year ago, my now mentor asked me how much money I’d need to make to make this business worth my while, my response was, “Well I don’t really have a number, I don’t NEED the money.”

Notice, she didn’t ask how much money do you NEED. Her question was how much money do you need TO MAKE THIS BUSINESS WORTH YOUR WHILE.

RAIVON! How about getting off your high horse and dreaming a little!

A heart without dreams is like a bird without feathers. Suzy Kassem

Go Raivon! You turned down money. Who is gonna start the slow clap? Maybe, I thought lacking financial ambition made me more HOLY?

At the time, I didn’t realize what was holding me back and why I wasn’t allowing myself to dream about what I could create in my life. But now I see it for what it was.


“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” —Napoleon Hill

Being a Christian stay-at-home mom, that has everything she needs and lots of what she wants, makes things complicated.

Why would someone like me have money goals? If I had financial goals — to me it seemed wasteful, shallow, & unappreciative.

Because, if I wanted more, it meant I wasn’t thankful and content with what I have been given. I truly felt like God wouldn’t give my goals around money His stamp of approval.

I recently wrote a post, sharing why I chose to be Clean Beauty Consultant. The reason’s I shared where nice and all, even true — But there’s one more reason why this business opportunity is now a part of my story.

And that’s growth. My life is wonderful but I know I haven’t reached my full potential. Could I be content and sit back and enjoy the view, possibly but I just KNOW there is so much more in store for me. I want to reach God’s high calling for my life.

Through this business I’m being inched out of my comfort zone. Dreaming can be scary, connecting and sharing with others is scary, feeling like I’m annoying others is scary, I fear that I may come off as pushy, I fear that people will think i’m a know-it-all and better than they are because I’m sharing these facts about the personal care industry, and why I know our products are indeed safer.

It’s all scary, but by facing these fears I’m growing a little closer to the woman I was created to be.

Everything you’ve ever wanted is one step outside your comfort zone.

To simply close my eyes and dream of what could be, has given me an entirely new perspective on life!

I dream of taking my family on vacations, enjoying more restaurants, buying ALL the things to decorate our forever home, paying for the kids many activities — cause goodness keeping these kids active is expensive! I have even created space for dreaming of ALL the things I defiantly don’t need like eye lash extensions, mani’s and pedi’s, massages, buying new clothes and other pretty things I’m drawn too.

The best part is that I dream of being able to freely help others, or just spoil my family when they visit, or being able to travel more to visit family!

Now that I’ve ditched those limiting and false beliefs, I’ve been able to start a new journey to discover my PURPOSE beyond being a mom and wife.

Although, I have a feeling there’s no greater purpose than being a mom. My children have instilled such great purpose in me.

Honestly – now that I think about it – all the fears I’m over coming will simply make me a better wife and mom. This is totally not where I was going with this. But having this business is allowing me to pour in to myself and growing me. Which comes full circle helping me to fulfill my purpose as a wife and mom! Wow!

So is it safe to say that God has given me no purpose greater than the gift of being a mother to my children? Or a wife to my husband?

I think so.

The Gift Beautycounter Has Given Me

I’ve realized that even though I’m not technically using my nursing degree or my massage therapy training. They are not being wasted. I’m still passionate about health and wellness and having a business within a Wellness Brand is allowing me to flex those muscles, without being on someone else’s clock or being away from my family.

And I’ve found that little piece that has been missing. The HUSTLE! There’s a little entrepreneur living inside of me! Who knew? Learning that products I was using every single day were harmful to my health, and sharing these scary truths with my family friends and community, advocating for change in the personal care industry. This hustle is EVERYTHING! I feel invigorated!

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Mahatma Gandhi 

Last and certainly not least! I discovered the only red lipstick I’ve ever loved! It’s Beautycounter Red and amazing!

Step forward when you are afraid, ask yourself why you are feeling that way. Dig, look deeper don’t let fear be a reason to live an OK life. You were made for so much more, even if that “more” is to be an even better mama and wife.

What do you want, but are afraid to admit to yourself?
What are you afraid to say out loud?

If you aren’t dreaming, START and if you are — NEVER EVER stop!

I hope you enjoyed this style of post if so let me know!

Raivon Lee

Mommy Life
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