I’ve been a long time “fitness chaser” or someone who would do anything to be skinny. It started back in middle school… The unhealthy ways trying to starve myself skinny, it continued into high school. I tried any crash diet I saw in a magazine, bought all the infomercial gadgets I could afford on my little YMCA salary. Always striving. Always failing. Never happy and never reaching my goal.
It wasn’t until after I had my first baby that I was able to get a body that I was proud of (ironic huh?) . I’m sure this was because being a new mom and fighting postpartum depression left no time for me to obsess about diet or my body. For the first time “skinny” wasn’t my focus and I actually got results!? But even then I didn’t appreciate what was accomplished– all I wanted was more more more.
Ari is now 3 and the Postpartum Depression I had seems to have transition into plain old depression. Looking back I’ve always suffered from depression to some extent. It took having a baby to be diagnosed.
Now I’m pregnant with my second child and according to hubby and myself our last biological child. I was so ill during the first trimester that I swore I’d never beat my body up to be skinny for the sole purpose of being skinny… All I wanted during that time was health! If I could only be healthy again! At that time my focus was on physical health but I know my mental health is just as important.
I’ve read tons of books about beating depression naturally with supplements, exercise, right diet etc. and while I still need medication currently along with the lifestyle changes mentioned above I’m very happy to have new fresh motivation behind exercise and being fit. My health both mental and physical will motivate me to hit the pavement literally.
I have several weeks to go until baby is due, I look forward to sharing my journey with you all and possibly becoming a fitness coach. I’m pretty excited to motivate myself and others to find and maintain total health through fitness and of course I wouldn’t mind looking good doing it!
Skinny was such an empty aspiration anyway!