So lately I’ve been doing something that I’m really, really good at… OBSESSING!
Just ask my husband, almost every conversation we have is a different variation of ” what if Ari is our one and only”.
Honestly after a tough pregnancy and tougher post partum period I can not imagine going through it again! I mean, I’m only beginning to emerge from the darkness of post partum anxiety/depression. All the little glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel are intoxicating, and I can say honestly I don’t want to go back down that road again.
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So as you may or may not know I decided something must be wrong with me…phyisically and I was pretty sure it was my thyroid… I went in to get lab work and everything came back great…normal. I know I should be jumping for joy but I was really hoping something would come back … Wrong… I was hoping there would be something to fix.
After getting the “great” news that everything was ok I only got worse. The crying continued, I wasn’t sleeping but was SO tried, didn’t want to leave the house. And one night, through my tears I told DH to find my script I was ready to start taking my antidepressant that was prescribed to me back in April.
This time I started with half the dose prescribed and had a much better experience. I didn’t feel drugged or spaced out. I actually began to feel “better”.
I now get out almost everyday with Ari, I haven’t cried once (and I was crying every single day) . I found a really great support group, its amazing how good it feels to know I’m not alone. I still have tough days but that’s life.
All in all I’m glad I finally did what I needed to do get get out of that dark place! Hopefully life will only get better!
Enough is enough, there has got to be more going on here than me just being tired. I expect to be tired after all I have a baby and he’s not yet sleeping through the night. But I feel drained, weak, no motivation, I sit on the sofa and have to think about getting up for 10 minutes before I can muster the energy to do it. I’ve FINALLY made an appointment with the Midwifery to get lab work.
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No,I’m not a changed standoff-ish flaky person, ok maybe I am but not on purpose. I really do want to see my friends and go out for lunch or a walk in the park or out for a few shots of tequila but since having a baby the only thing I can plan on is following Ari’s schedule.
After researching reading and digging through the Internet I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a high needs baby or “spirited baby” (per Dr. Sears definition high needs baby ) . That being said he has a very particular way of doing things, well needing things to be done rather. Heres where the 2 hr loop comes into play.
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Ari is 6 months old today (or 24 weeks whichever you prefer). He’s rolling from his tummy to his back, has 2 teeth and is growing like a weed, really he is. At his last appointment he was 23lbs! and he’s pretty tall as well.
The last 6 months are pretty much a blur. I mean, I really don’t know what else to say… I used to google every issue I had to get advice (thank goodness for an unlimited data plan) now Im just going with the “flow” aka “Ari”. I’ve learned that its easier for all of us to just listen to him and what he needs.
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Well…well…well. Just one more thing that everyone forgot to mention about having a baby. THAT ID GO BALD!
I’m aprox. 4 months post partum and I’d say I really started to notice that my edges where looking sparse around the 3.5 month mark.
Literally every time I touched my hair there were sad strands left behind in my hand, and brushing my hair in the shower was/is scary. Read More »
Post partum anxiety… Wait what? I’ve heard of post partum depression…We all have; but I hadn’t heard much, well anything about Post Partum Anxiety (PPA) until I started researching my symptoms.
I expected to have some baby blues which I was told would last about 2 weeks after having Ari and boy did I! I cried about everything, EVERYTHING. If I saw a picture of Ari I’d cry when I realized I’d have to supplement with formula I cried and cried. When I was still crying 8 weeks later I thought there was a problem. Read More »
As I sit here nursing my LO to sleep I’ve decided its time to get back to blogging, if for no reason other than to get my feelings out… therapy of sorts. So If it sounds like I’m rambling then I probably am
Since Ari was born (3 months ago) I’ve been to heaven… hell…and back. We’ve moved twice, fueled partly by my Post Partum Anxiety/Depression. Anxiety would always hit me around the same time everyday, in the evening. I’d start crying no matter how hard I’d try to keep it in. I knew what the night had in store, and it wasn’t sleep. A friend reminded me that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture and I can totally see why! Read More »
OH MY GOODNESS! I am actually able to sit here in front of my laptop and press buttons!! Unlike every other day for the last few weeks, Ari is comfortably napping on his own and not in my arms. Ari was staying up for 4+ hours at a time…falling asleep for a few minutes here and there but always a VERY light sleep; he would wake up crying and wanted to nurse continuously for comfort. My poor baby had tummy troubles.
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Wow! Ari is two weeks old and I’ve been meaning to post something…anything at least a few times per week but my little man is running the show. He’s a natural born BOSS! Between taking care of Ari, conquering green slimy poop ( I was so excited to see yellow seedy poop again), a gassy tummy and family visiting the time just runs away from me! I’m loving being a mom, Ari is a dream and has already taught me a thing or two… Read More »