Shell-Shocked: The Day After CNN Shed Light on PPD

I can not speak . . . I can feel the tears working their way into my eyes; there’s a horrible pit in my stomach . . . I feel sick.
I was recently interview by Kelly Wallace from CNN for an article that she wrote called, Postpartum Depression: One mom’s mission becomes a movement  featuring Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress.
Let me tell you, I have been beyond excited to have had the chance to be a part of this. Albeit a tiny part. Katherine is the star, all her work over the last ten years is . . . no words. I have been waiting for weeks for this article to go live, and yesterday was the day! It is an amazing article!

My joy was taken away just as quickly as it arrived. After receiving a Facebook notification saying that some crazy comment was posted on CNN’s website. I went to see what all the fuss was about.

When I began reading the comments it literally felt as if I took a blow to the stomach. All of the air was sucked out of me, I couldn’t think straight . . . there were many comments in support but of course the negative comments stole the show; for me.

“Nonsense. My wife has borne two children and never wavered a bit in terms of her mood. She is a confirmed believer that PMS and PPD are myths made up by women who will not take responsibility for their lousy attitudes.” -Heinz Doofenshmirtz

 

“PPD is a myth. Another ploy for attention from women whose real ‘depression’ comes from no longer being the center of all attention. I have seen this time and again.” -Heinz Doofenshmirtz

 

“Survivor?? While I consider PPD a real disorder, talking about it like some sort of cancer that’s now in remission might be a bit much, don’t you think?” -owlnspace

 

“Please explain the concept of a “Warrior Mom”? I’ll admit my bias here: it sounds like describing a janitor as a ‘custiodial engineer’.” -owlnspace

 

“This is obviously not a healthy place for these children to be. Where is child protective services?”-guest

 

“BooHoo. Poor women.
They have only been having children for thousands of years. Now they have an issue with having kids. I call BS. My wife had 3 kids without any PPD. It must be my wonderful Male Leadership.
Oh wait I thought women didnt need us men, you guys are equal. Oh thats right only when it suits you.
PPD is just an excuse to get away with having an abortion after giving birth.” – Common Sense

 

“Warrior Mom? (rolls eyes). please. Thousands of years humans had to fight every day to find food and survive countless risks to them and their children….Yeah your lives are so hard these days. lol”-reason587

I did not read all of the negative comments; I couldn’t.  I’m sure (I hope) many of them were just “trolls”, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Yes I know better . . .

BUT.

I immediately felt sorrow, embarrassment and shame wash over me. I wanted to respond to each nasty comment that I’m sure was spawned out of ignorance but I thought, what’s the point? . . . where would I even begin? . . . A f*ck you would suffice . . . but that’s not me. Lord please help me not sin in my anger.

These types of comments are what cause women to go into hiding and not seek help . . . cause US to feel like we are just not woman enough to handle life postpartum . . . these comments are enough to trigger someone in the midst of suffering.

I can’t say for sure that I have ever been discriminated against. This is the first time in my life that I have felt TRUE discrimination. It hurts . . . As much as I want to retreat and hide away. THIS is what I needed. Fuel added to my fire.

Maybe I’m naive; but when people have said to me how proud they are that I was brave enough to share my story. I took it as a kind sentiment. After reading those comments I realize that we really do HAVE to be brave . . .

Even though I know better, there’s that little voice of doubt that creeps in “Am I just weak — Could I just push through and be stronger — Am I just making it up — Maybe I should pray more.”  But I know better. My thoughts go to the mom that doesn’t . . . what about her?

Those are fighting words . . . Not fighting the ignorance, instead this makes me want to fight for US . . . the moms!

During my interview with Kelly, she asked me if I thought we had a long way to go (in reference to awareness). I said yes . . . especially for men/dad’s. At that time I had NO idea how far we have to go. It wasn’t  until I read the comments . . . It was a wake up call . . . Just the call I needed.

Look at the war ahead of us . . . . We are warrior moms regardless of what others may think, this proves it. We have so much more to fight than our illnesses. I’m not sure what I’m going to do or how I’m going to do it. I can only pray that God will work through me in this fight.

Simply put . . . Thank you A**HOLES for the fuel!

To those of you who purposely & innocently (out of ignorance) responded in a hurtful way, thank you for the fuel. Thank you to everyone who commented in support and thank you Greg for your support, on and off-line! I love you! Oh, THANK YOU Kelly for getting the conversation started in a big way!

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change” -Eckhart Tolle