It has been too long since I’ve posted here. I often find the inspiration for posts but rarely find the time to actually complete said posts. I’m embarrassed and slightly amused at the number of drafts waiting to be completed.
It’s a reflection of my life.
My toddler and I met friends for a play date this morning. It was nice — it was just what I needed. Ari is now in bed, hopefully asleep. As I sit here on my sofa, exhausted. I felt the need to “say” something here. Even if it isn’t a well thought out post. Authenticity is a beautiful thing.
My struggle this past week or two has been finding balance between the roles God has blessed me with, as a mom a wife, home maker and being me — being Raivon.
As a mom I want to be there for my son the way he needs me to be. Realizing that I am his world and against convention knowing that the world (me) — His world does revolve around him. A conversation I had recently has caused me to…at first question my parenting but then realize that I am on the right path. I have been giving more thought to how I parent Ari. I want to really be there for him, while he actually wants me to be. While he still calls for “mama” lovingly. It takes strength to find balance in the stewardship of my child especially when my approach may not be seen as normal.
As a wife I want to show Greg how much I respect him and how thankful I am for all the work he does for us day in and day out. I want him to know that I see all he does and all he is willing to do for us. I value what we have so intensely. I understand that it is rare. It takes strength to be intentional in this way when there are 50 million to-do’s on my list and I never feel like I am caught up.
As a “home maker” I want to treat this job I’ve been given (and gladly accept) as a SAHM and wife as a job. Last week I created a weekly cleaning schedule and while it’s not perfect I’m able to tweak it as I go. It really helps to have a schedule and a routine for cleaning. Our home life seems a bit more “stable”. I graciously ask for help when I need it. THAT takes strength coming from a woman who would like to believe I have it all under control.
As myself, I have to realize and respect who I am. Knowing that alone time is more important to me than time out and with others. My being craves and flourishes from a sparsely scheduled calendar and mid-day naps. I don’t enjoy phone calls and mornings are my favorite time of the day to get out and about. I cherish easy afternoons and evenings with my family. If I respect who I am and what I need to flourish — When I am able to commune with friends I am fully there with them enjoying our time instead of waiting for our time to be done. It takes strength to say no to others.
Balance is what I am seeking… Balance takes strength.
Until next time,
Raivon
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