Wow! Ari is two weeks old and I've been meaning…
Blogging has become a form of therapy and escape for me. I am able to open up in a way that I can with few people in my life. Not because others won’t let me, but because I won’t allow myself to just be me… Whoever me is. I’ve been hiding myself for so long that I’m not sure I even know who I am.
I’m not a very confident person, well I haven’t been in the past. Hopefully I’m in the process of turning a new leaf. I generally only share my true opinions when I know the person sitting across from me will agree and there will be no push back (unless that person is DH then I have no problem voicing my true feelings . When I’m in agreement with someone, chances are there will be a flowery bonding experience between us…and that’s my safety net.
I HATE confrontation of any sort. I’m a peace keeper and avoid it at ALL costs… like it’s the black plague. I’m sure this makes me a very boring person. I’ve been known to just sit back and agree mainly because I don’t feel like speaking up or defending my point of view… Takes too much energy really.
In all honestly I am an extremely opinionated person. EXTREMELY, but you’d never know it. I know this goes deeper than just having anxiety about sharing my blog. I know I can’t make everyone happy, and no, not everyone will agree with what I have to say. That’s life! This is one time in my life when it’s okay to be “selfish” and stop worrying, and just be me. I feel like I’ve lived 27 years trying to be who and what ever I thought others preferred. Why am I so uncomfortable with myself?
I will soon be a mom. Continuing to sit back and passively go through life isn’t going to benefit myself my family and more specifically my son. There are so many opinions out there about how to raise children and many BIG decisions that need to be made. Even now…before he’s born. My LO doesn’t deserve a push over mommy, I will be my child’s advocate!
I’ve decided to do it! On January 1st 2013, I will hit the “share” button… Maybe lol (I just realized how close we are to January, YIKES)
I will allow others into my little world here online. I’m scared as heck, but hey… This is me and my blog reflects who I am. Who knows, maybe everyone will get to meet the real Raivon face to face, not just in the safety of my online home!
I can’t be the only one that feels this way…right?