I sit online, scrolling Amazon and Zulily for the perfect toy. A toy that is educational that will teach him, a toy that will bring him joy.
How have I forgotten what he not only needs but WANTS most is me.
Ari is two now. Since the day my son was born he made it clear that mommy was his world, and he was mine.
Ari is now two and sleep has never been his thing. At least not without mommy by his side. For the first 22 months of his life I was Ari’s pacifier.
I dreamed (when I was able to sleep) of the day that Ari would fall asleep without me, I wouldn’t be trapped in bed with him, and I would be able to toss and turn anytime I wanted. I dreamed of the day that my hip wouldn’t be screaming in pain and my risk of bedsores greatly decreased!
That day has come to some extent, Ari doesn’t have to be nursed to sleep and actually prefers to sleep in his own space. I truly look at it as a miracle — it is nothing short of a miracle.
BUT He does still need his mommy only in a different way now.
Ari now likes to drift off to dream land holding my hand through the rails of his crib. At first I thought of it as a negative. I tell you the those scare tactics that get push on us moms are hard to shake. They come flashing back as if I had PTSD. For a fleeting moment I thought that by holding his hand I’d be creating a crutch and that I should teach him to fall asleep without me all together, because of course if I don’t he will NEVER learn.
That wouldn’t be the type of parent I want to be. As Ari’s mom he will always NEED me for something even if its just Love. Even if he doesn’t know it.
And there will come a time that I’m sure I’ll feel totally useless in his life, even if that isn’t true.
BUT for this time I will hold my sweet boy’s hand as he drifts off. And I will be present and enjoy every delicious second of it!
What are some of the special mommy moments you hold on to with your little ones… regardless of what others say??? Please share and thank you for reading!
I’m screaming over here!! I had the absolute pleasure of interviewing Producer and Director Ana Sofia Joanes. “Her first documentary, Generation Meds, explored our fears and misgivings about mental illness and medication. FRESH, Ana’s second documentary, celebrates the farmers, thinkers and business people across America who are re-inventing our food system.” ~ Fresh The Movie, Ana’s Bio.
I am totally girl-crushing! We recently became a vegetarian family and watched FRESH for the first time a few years back, which slowly {along with many other resources} placed us on our vegetarian journey. Now, I learn of Ana’s first documentary Generation Meds… and I nearly passed out. You all may know how I feel about mental illness and depression etc.
We are a match made in heaven right? If you haven’t seen FRESH watch it now. It will totally open your eyes to the reality of “food”. I’ll be watching Generation Meds ASAP!
Alright, allow me to collect myself.
Ana is currently working on a new documentary called Taking Our Places, that follows three families as they allow us to peer {maybe probe is a more appropriate word} into their daily lives as parents. Allowing us to see the reality of parenting. As parents we know all too well that it ain’t always pretty and there are those little moments that we wish we could erase or situations that we know we could have handled better.
Taking our places gives us a look at Partnership-Based Parenting which is a skill that we can ALL benefit from. Both parents and non-parents alike. I cannot begin to say how much I am looking forward to seeing this film!
And — It will become a finished product with our help! So far Taking Our Places has been backed by over 60 supporters, with over $4000 raised. $25000 is the goal! Read More »
Okay, it’s time to stir the pot. Its been pretty PC around here for the most part and well — It’s getting old. Don’t you think? Not that I want to offend; but I have views and opinions and this is my blog. If I can’t be Raivon here, without fear . . . then where can I?
Attachment parenting (AP) seems to be one of the great divides between us moms. There are so many raw emotions behind parenting styles.
I liken it to an electrical cord with exposed wires. If you touch it you WILL get shocked . . . And if there’s enough contact you just might start a fire.
I’m an attachment parent, mostly by nature and partly by choice. We bed-share, we are still nursing (on demand), no crying-it-out (CIO). In fact the mere thought of a baby left to cry makes me sick to my stomach. It’s safe to say we are child centered parents. We don’t believe in forcing a child into something they aren’t ready for. If you are sitting outside of your babies door crying while your baby cries he isn’t ready and neither are you. Be kind to yourself. Read More »
So lately I’ve been doing something that I’m really, really good at… OBSESSING!
Just ask my husband, almost every conversation we have is a different variation of ” what if Ari is our one and only”.
Honestly after a tough pregnancy and tougher post partum period I can not imagine going through it again! I mean, I’m only beginning to emerge from the darkness of post partum anxiety/depression. All the little glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel are intoxicating, and I can say honestly I don’t want to go back down that road again.
Read More »
Enough is enough, there has got to be more going on here than me just being tired. I expect to be tired after all I have a baby and he’s not yet sleeping through the night. But I feel drained, weak, no motivation, I sit on the sofa and have to think about getting up for 10 minutes before I can muster the energy to do it. I’ve FINALLY made an appointment with the Midwifery to get lab work.